The child is not the cause! Everyone hyper-focuses on affects and ignores causes. Looking at causes forces us, as adults, to be honest and candid with ourselves as well as having to own things that we do not want to own. Yes, you may actually be the cause, consider that!
ADD is an affect, personality disorders are affects, tantrums, lashing out, hyper-activity, etc. Numbing them does not work, so stop. Look at yourself first with candor and honesty. The body and mind can heal themselves physically, it can also emotionally and mentally if we create the right conditions that are conducive to healing.
If you take a child that is believed to have ADD and allow them to do what they love, the ADD goes away. ADD is not the problem, it was not helping the child find what they love. (yes that takes some work) It was forcing a non-linear child into a linear world or vice-versa.
It's like forcing Huckleberry Finn to go to school, it will not work. Stop with unrealistic expectations. Nurture the Huckleberry within. A child may hate math but love to fish and if nurtured the potential of that child to grow up successful, happy and prosperous is greatly increased.
Deepak Chopra once said that if his child struggled in math but loved tennis that he would not hire a math tutor but a tennis coach.
Nature has great answers for us if we only look. A child is just like a seed. If you plant the seed, it needs to be in fertile ground. You don't know what's going to grow out of the soil. But if every week you stir the soil up, the seed won't grow properly. If you neglect it, it will not grow properly. If you demand the leaves before the roots, it will not grow properly. If you give it too much, it will not grow properly. There is an order in nature and it works. How we are raising our children is not working and it is not their fault. It is ours, and it is not even really ours because we are doing what we were shown. And this I do know for a surety and I know most can relate to this. When the tree starts to emerge and we see what it is going to become and we don't like it, we try to change it. This is where big problems happen for everyone. A tree starts to emerge and it is an oak tree and the parents don't like it so they start to force it to be an apple tree. What do you think is going to happen? An explosion and not a healthy one.
Imagine yourself being taken out of a situation that you love, one that you can freely express yourself in love, communication, creativity and put into the exact opposite. YOU WOULD EVENTUALLY TAKE TANTRUMS, COULDN'T FOCUS, BECOME ANGRY, RESENTFUL, BOTTLED UP ENERGY MANIFESTS IN HYPER ACTIVITY, PERSONALITY DISORDERS. And if you are already doing that, maybe it is time to change your lifestyle to one where you can find balance and peacefulness.
It is proven scientifically that the mind can rewire itself. It can heal itself. Drugs do not heal, they pacify and
numb. They remove affects but not fix causes. Taking ownership is the first step.
Second is educating yourself on causes and how what YOU can do to change the cause, especially if the cause is you. Not wait for someone or something else to hopefully fix it.
This is not about perfection but upping the odds in our favors. To have more peace, happiness and joy. The
current system may bring a little of that, but at what cost? The mind and potential of a child?
Please understand I am speaking in generalities because it would be impossible to speak about every specific situation. The truth remains, if something is not working, look for the cause, educate yourself, own it, change yourself first then go without.
One more thing, young children do not understand stress and worry. They definitely feel it when we transpose it on them, but they do not understand it. It is a very real thing, this energy. Part of the awareness is realizing this and making adjustments. How can a child be a child if that is there as a hindrance?
Transposing negative emotions on a child is no different than taking a baseball bat to them, it does just as much damage, you just don't see it until it's way down the road.
If we as parents have the ability to choose to drop our pants when we pee, we have the ability to make other choices. Why do we drop our pants, because we understand the benefits of that. We know if we don't the havoc that ensues. We are not victims to the belt that can never be undone. We can choose to shift our energy, we have that ability. We always have the ability to make another choice.
We can be the solution. We ARE the solution.